Are you invisible and hiding your true self from others?
Some time ago, my friends found me playing hide and seek and lovingly told me it was time to show the full spectrum of my spirituality to the world. They told me that I was not showing fully the deeply mystical & loving spiritual healer I was and that I was hiding my true self. Their words pushed me to take a step further on my self-healing journey and soon I discovered how my invisibility – fear of rejection and not feeling enough were connected together.
In this blog post, I talk about my findings – and help bring your unconscious pattern into your consciousness if you are hiding your true self from others. Because the fact is, there is enough hiding you can do. To live the life you truly love, your true self must shine the light.
THE FEAR OF REJECTION CAN MAKE YOU HIDE
It can be painful to become fully visible to others and stop hiding your true self because it asks you to face your fear of rejection, as unfortunately not everyone’s consciousness is high enough to accept the real you.
The fear of rejection is a deep-rooted fear connected to biological belonging. Many people suffer from this fear, as we don’t want to be isolated from others or abandoned. In addition, this fear is often related to the fear of being alone or the fear of death. From the spiritual perspective, fear of rejection means rejecting parts of yourself that should be visible.
When the fear of rejection activates in your daily life, you try to avoid situations where you could face rejection so that you don’t need to feel painful emotions and feelings. It can be challenging for you to understand why someone is judging or criticizing you, and on a top of everything it can trigger the old wound and your negative core belief that makes you feel like you are not enough, loved, worthy, heard or are invisible.
All of these core beliefs are learned scarcity experiences from your childhood. For example, when you were a child, you felt that you were not seen by your parents, making you feel unloved, not enough, or unworthy. That made you fight to be visible and get your parents’ attention so that you would not feel rejected.
My story about hiding my true self
I grew up in a spiritual family, where we had to hide our spirituality for years due to all the judgment and criticism we received from others who could not accept the way we saw the world. After everything I had experienced, it took me a very long time to feel safe to show my spirituality to others.
Only a few years ago, I finally fully opened my spiritual side to the world – or that is what I thought. Because after that opening, I faced the fact that I had to heal the terrible witch hunt experiences I carried with me from my parallel lives. After healing my witch hunt experiences, I again thought I was embracing my spiritual side and fully showing it until I began to hear from my close circle of friends that I had pulled back my energy. They told me that I was not fully showing all of myself in certain situations.
That annoyed and frustrated me a lot as I had worked years on becoming more visible. But as the words of my friends deeply resonated with me, I had no other options than to do more self-healing. So I started to look within myself to find answers to what was happening this time.
This self-exploration opened my eyes to see that the final piece in the puzzle of hiding my true self, invisibility, and fear of rejection was about understanding that deep down I did not feel enough (to fulfill others’ expectations). I also learned about two unconscious situations and patterns about myself that I notice others also have.
These were:
1. You make yourself invisible.
2. Someone makes you feel invisible.
"The final piece in the puzzle of hiding my true self, invisibility, and fear of rejection was about not feeling enough (to fulfill others' expectations)."
1. you make yourself invisible
When you make a part of yourself invisible, consciously or unconsciously, there’s always a fear & negative core beliefs behind it. So if you hide an aspect of you, spend some time looking within and asking yourself: what are you hiding? From whom are you hiding? Why?
You most likely will notice that if you are invisible, you don’t need to feel that you aren’t enough (aren’t loved or worthy) to fulfill others’ expectations and acceptance. And so when you hide, they don’t see you and cannot reject you.
2. someone makes you feel invisible
When someone ignores you, does not pay attention to you, or makes you feel invisible to them, your fear of rejection kicks in and makes you respond from the trauma perspective: you fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. So, for example, you try to prove that you are here, you are enough (or loved or worthy), and start to push your opinions, make yourself loud, pull back to get attention, you freeze the way that you cannot do anything, or you start to please others.
It was a massive healing experience for me to become aware that the roots were the same in both situations: invisibility – fear of rejection – feeling not enough. That awareness opened up the self-healing journey to another level because my invisibility was no longer an unconscious pattern I had programmed into myself: I now clearly saw the pattern and heard my negative self-talk.
Be conscious of the ways you become invisible
When you become conscious of your patterns, thoughts and behavior – you can transform them with acceptance and love.
Here are a few examples of how these things can show up in your daily life:
1. You make yourself invisible:
– You are uncomfortable showing parts of yourself to others: one person or many people.
– You don’t openly talk about some aspects of yourself that you would like to talk about.
– You have a parallel life where you were judged – such as a life as a witch and have not healed your witch hunt experiences.
– You procrastinate doing anything where you need to be more visible. When you do that, you do it quickly and disappear.
– You can be in front of people – but are not comfy to be on video or in pictures. Or the other way around.
– You have experiences in your childhood when you had to hide aspects of yourself – and you have not transformed those memories.
2. Someone makes you feel invisible:
– Others around you are also hiding their true selves: they mirror your energy.
– In a group setting, others don’t pay attention to you.
– You don’t receive likes and comments on social media.
– Someone totally ignores you, does not look at you or does not hear you.
– You feel somehow rejected.
What did you discover about yourself? Are you also hiding your true self?
After I became conscious of my patterns and the core belief under everything, I was able to start taking my power back and embody the feeling that I am enough the way I am. And now, I feel more safe to be visible and have this deep sense of peace within me. And you can feel that too! Click here to read more about how I offer a loving space to heal if you are hiding your true self.
Essi Koski-Lammi
Essi Koski-Lammi is an Interior Designer, Intuitive Healer, and Inner Alignment Coach with over 20 years of experience in energy work. She guides purpose-driven women and businesses to reconnect with their authentic essence through inner alignment coaching, strategic business channeling, and conscious interior design. Essi’s mission is to create harmony and beauty in both inner and outer spaces, allowing clarity, success, and well-being to flow naturally.
