Feeling unworthy? Here’s my journey to being worthy
Feeling unworthy affects your entire life negatively and that's why I want to tell you my story of transforming this negative core belief of being unworthy into understanding and embodying the belief that I am worthy. Because I wish that you see that changing the belief is possible and that you don't need to be a prisoner of that. Like all healing journeys, this was also a cyclical process, with many parallel things happening in one go.
When looking back at everything, it would have been much easier if my mind had told me, “Essi, you are unworthy.” Then I could have accessed that thought and released it. But the core wound is not always the first thing you see. This is because healing is a spiral-like process of peeling layers that are added to the top of your deep wound. The more you go through these layers, the closer you get to access the root that locates in your unconscious mind.
But before I talk more about my journey, let’s define the difference between unworthy and worthless, as those words tend to be mixed up. In the simplest ways:
Unworthy = not deserving something
Worthless = no value
HOW I NOTICED FEELING UNWORTHY
I met my negative core belief of being unworthy face to face for the first time when I worked on opening my feminine energy. I learned how unconditional receiving is a core aspect of what feminine energy is about. That made me realize that I had always struggled to receive anything in life if I had not done anything to deserve it.
When I looked deeper into myself, I painfully saw this struggle. That pushed me to start a dialogue with my unconscious mind about WHY I felt it wasn’t easy to receive anything. The more chats I had, the more I questioned it, and the more I was ready to face many excuses, false truths, and let go of things that had happened to me in the past, the clearer I started feeling that my core wound was that I felt unworthy.
I started noticing how this unworthy feeling was showing EVERYWHERE in my life. I saw how I was constantly trying to reach a gap in my life (from feeling unworthy to feeling self-worth) with success, nice job titles, money, being a better person, etc. Because deep in my mind, I thought that all those things around me defined that I was worthy. And when I would achieve those things, I would be worthy and only then I would deserve to receive from others.
This is how FEELING UNWORTHY showed up in my life
How it showed up in my life:
– I was over-giving and pleasing others.
– I was selling my time and services for MUCH less than they are worth of.
– I needed to have an excellent CV and a fantastic title, and a great career.
– I had to be having an MSc degree – and all the other degrees.
– My worth = my salary and money in my bank account.
– I felt more worthy if I had more likes on social media.
You get the picture…
It was time to redefine my worth
It was shocking to realize the illusion I had lived and see how I defined my worth. At that point, I realized it was time to redefine what feeling worthy means.
Once I understood that being worthy has NOTHING to do with things outside of me but rather an internal knowing, things started transforming. I felt so free when I released these roots one by one and rebuilt my brain and my identity.
This work has led me to:
– Be open to receiving and knowing that I deserve it, even if “I have not done anything” to get it.
– I have stopped over-giving and pleasing others.
– I fully understand how social media likes etc., are nothing to do with my self-worth.
– I am grateful for my past jobs and CV; however, I have stopped defining my worth with a fantastic title, etc.
– I loved my MSc studies in Amsterdam and acknowledged my growth from the program, but I detached myself from feeling worthier than not having that degree.
– Money has stopped being a measure of my worthiness.
I know now that I am worthy. It is an unshakable feeling in my solar plexus that feels strong, determined, soft, loving, and receiving.
If you also feel (somewhat) unworthy – know that it is a core wound that most people carry with them, and you too can feel worthy.
Interested to read more about the negative core beliefs and how to transform them?
Then I have something for you – check out my post about how to start healing your negative core beliefs.
Essi Koski-Lammi
Essi Koski-Lammi is an Inner Alignment Coach, Intuitive Healer, Channeler, and Interior Designer who started studying energy work and life coaching over 20 years ago. Now, she helps New Earth Creators create a conscious lifestyle to find their way home to themselves and unleash their true nature for life without limits. In her approach, she also brings her interior design skills into play, helping her clients create a home aligned with heart and soul.
