How to cope with the uncertainty and chaos during the transformation process
You will need to face uncertainty and chaos during the transformation process, however hard it will make you feel. Because if you want to evolve into something greater, the old must transform into new, bringing chaos and uncertainty.
As I write this, all I see with my third eye is the Goddess Kali. She is the Goddess who will help you through the uncertainty and chaos during the transformation process as she is the Goddess of death, rebirth, transformation, chaos, loss, and deep healing. She is the end and the beginning and always there for you when you transform. She looks fierce, stunning, wild, and extremely strong. She is looking at you deep into your eyes, communicating with you telepathically. You are staring back at her, not moving either, as you accept your transformation, even if it hurts.
UnCERTAINTY AND CHAOS DURING the TRANSFORMATION process ARE NATURAL
The Goddess Kali enters your life when you are at the end of stage two and the beginning of stage three of your transformation. This is when you have been working on yourself and practicing self-healing that always raises your energy and pushes the new you to be born. Kali’s presence reminds you that the old that no longer serves you must go and transform because the newness needs the space – void – to be powerfully rebuilt. Things will start to fall out of your life and as you see things falling, it might feel like an earthquake has come into your life.
It will feel like chaos – which is the natural state of feminine energy – at the heart of the transformation. In this chaos, you cannot make sense of things or see how things will turn out. Nothing is as it used to be. You are surrounded by uncertainty, and everything seems messy. You might feel that you have lost everything because you have dropped into a space with no light, a guide, nor a map. There is not even a path in front of you.
The only things that are left are darkness and silence.
There is nothing.
Prepare to face your old fears that need to be transformed
From that space of nothing, you will face grief as you realize that the old has stopped existing. You must permit yourself to feel, because the only way out is through. You cry. You feel pain and suffering. According to the psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, you move through the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
This grieving process, chaos, and uncertainty will bring fears present. Those fears are the ones that the old was built upon. They need to be faced and released so that the new can emerge because you need a new grounding to reach those dreams of yours. See and feel these fears within your body, mind, and soul. And with acceptance and forgiveness, allow them to go.
The goddess Hecate helps you when the old is gone and new is not yet here
You are in the void and the in-between stage of the transformation. This is where the Dark Moon Goddess Hecate will greet you with loving arms. As she is the Goddess of this liminal space: where the old identity has disappeared and the new has not been born yet. She is there for you, helping you to pamper yourself, when you drop to the void. In my meditations she looks almost like a giant, as she is so powerful, but yet she looks like a loving, protective and healing grandmother, an elder witch.
The void is the space of creation
Little by little, you start to collect yourself back up. And you realize how the uncertainty follows you, as there is no returning to the old. The more transformation work you do, you start to deeply understand that the unknown is a safe and natural part of the process. The uncertainty becomes a great mystery. You see that in that nothing, there is everything. You see that birth always occurs from this chaos, as this void is the space of creation. With Kali’s help, you start to give birth to the new you.
Usually, this is the point of the transformation process when everyone needs help. So it is wise to find a person (coach, therapist, healer, etc.) who can support you, when you build the new. Someone who knows what it is, how it can be done, and holds a space for you when you transform.
But even when you have this space holder next to you, you have to remember that you are the one that will do the work. So you need to step into the self-healer mode and become the creator of your life.
How to support yourself when you go through the uncertainty and chaos during the transformation?
There are many ways to support yourself and be a self-healer:
1. Create a prayer for Kali and repeat it daily. E.g.:
Dear Kali, Goddess of transformation and rebirth. I surrender my life to this transformation. With love, break me open and help me let go of the old. Protect me. Show me safety. Show me how my spirit is greater than my ego. With love, help me to build the new. Show me the light within me that will guide me. With love guide me to rebirth to who I truly am. Thank you.
2. Work with Hecate, when you are in the in-between stage. Ask her to visit you in the meditations and healing work you do. Trust her magic.
3. Focus on finding and anchoring yourself to your inner safety.
4. Know that this part is a natural part of your transformation. Your healing process is always circular and cyclical; this stage shall pass. Be there for yourself. Give yourself permission to feel and let your emotions flow freely.
5. Focus on doing inner child work – what is it that the little child within needs right now? Listen to this person in meditation and nurture the inner child.
6. Surround yourself with the closest people who are there for you.
7. When you have arrived at acceptance, and when you see the void as a space of creation and mystery – it is time to focus on the rebuilding:
- You need to understand your new identity – who is the new you? Write that down and read that every morning when you wake up.
- What is your desire – what is your dream? Listen to my FREE meditation that helps you make your dream crystal clear. This dream is your north star, where you will be navigating when everything else seems dark and empty. That is the hope, the light in the darkness you are searching for. Focus on this vision and take a tiny first step toward it.
The Goddesses Kali and Hecate are there for you when you go through the in-between stage, uncertainty and chaos during the transformation. So be open to their help, and ask for their support even if you don’t see or feel them. And remember, this too shall pass.
Essi Koski-Lammi
Essi Koski-Lammi is an Interior Designer, Intuitive Healer, and Inner Alignment Coach with over 20 years of experience in energy work. She guides purpose-driven women and businesses to reconnect with their authentic essence through inner alignment coaching, strategic business channeling, and conscious interior design. Essi’s mission is to create harmony and beauty in both inner and outer spaces, allowing clarity, success, and well-being to flow naturally.
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